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THE
BEST LISTS
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MOVIE
QUOTES
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Shrek
(2001)
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Princess Fiona: What kind of knight are you? Shrek: One of
a kind.
Shrek: Oh, no. Dead broad OFF the table!
[about Snow White] Magic Mirror: She lives with seven men,
but she's not easy.
Donkey: Hi, princess! Princess Fiona: It talks. Shrek: Yeah,
but it's getting him to shut up that's the hard part.
Lord Farquaad: Tell me where the creatures are! Gingerbread
Man: All right, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man? Gingerbread Man: The muffin
man. Lord Farquaad: Why yes, I know the muffin man. The one
who lives on Drury Lane?
Shrek: I am beginning to see why you don't have any friends.
Donkey: That's what I like about you, Shrek. A true friend
wouldn't be so brutally honest.
Donkey: I've got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use
it!
Princess Fiona: Where are you going? Shrek: I have to save
my ass.
Shrek: What you are doing is the opposite of help!
The Donkey: Hi, Princess. Princess Fiona: It talks! Shrek:
Yeah, it's getting it to shut up that's the trick!
The Donkey: Did you hear that? She called me a "noble steed."
She thinks I'm a steed.
The Donkey: Oh no! I can't feel my toes. [Looks down and yelps.]
I don't have any toes! [Sits down.] I need a hug.
Shrek: Thank you, I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal, very
nice.
The Donkey: I'm a donkey on the edge!
The Donkey: Hey, what about Shrek? He's ugly 24/7!
Lord Farquaad: Some of you are going to die, but its a sacrifice
I'm willing to make.
Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a
whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
Donkey: Ooh, this is gonna be so much fun! We can stay up
late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin'
waffles.
Donkey: I ain't never met someone who didn't like parfait.
You never hear someone say, "Hey, you want some parfait?"
"Hell no, I don't want no parfait!"
Shrek: That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
The Donkey: Hey, you're a GIRL dragon!
[Gingerbread Man is being interrogated.] Gingerbread Man:
Eat me!
[Shrek runs off to find the Donkey.] Shrek: I've got to save
my ass!
[Shrek repeatedly thanks the Donkey.] The Donkey: Stop it,
nobody likes a kiss-ass.
Magic Mirror: Let's move on to girl number 3, Princess Fiona.
She likes piņa coladas and getting caught in the rain!
Shrek: Ogres are like onions. Donkey: They both smell? Shrek:
NO! They have LAYERS. There's more to us underneath. So, ogres
are like onions. Donkey: Yeah, but nobody LIKES onions!
Donkey: Hey, you don't know what its like to be treated like
a freak! ...Well, maybe, you do.
Shrek: Ogres are like onions. Donkey: What, 'cause they stink?
Shrek: No... Donkey: 'Cause they make people cry? Shrek: No...!
Donkey: You mean if you leave them out they get brown and
start growing little white hairs?
Donkey: This would be SO much easier if I weren't color-blind.
Still
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